Farm Stress, Success, and Your Family

Welcome to the Talking Total Farmer Health podcast from AgriSafe Network. At AgriSafe, we work to protect the people that feed the world by supporting the health and safety professionals, ensuring access to preventative services for farm families and the agriculture community.

Welcome listeners to today’s episode of Talking Total Farmer Health! In our last episode, we spoke with Stan Moore and Dr. Remmington Rice from Michigan State University Extension. Today, Dr. Rice is joining us again! As the leader of MSU’s Farm Stress program, with a PhD in health psychology, and as a member of a fifth-generation cattle farm, Dr. Rice has some good insight to share. It might come as a surprise, but your relationships, along with your stress levels, can directly impact the success of your operation. Relationships and stress levels, hm. So stay tuned to learn how to identify and manage you and your families stressors, and how to nurture your relationships through good communication strategies!

So... Dr. Rice, last time we talked a little bit about farm stressors, and I think it's about time to ask the big question... Since we all know and feel that stress on a farm, and it is so stressful, why would anyone want to work on a farm?

That's a great question, and I think that's something that people often skip in these conversations. You know, we hear all the time, oh, farming is so stressful, it's so bad. And there's these regulations and, you know, all we hear the doom and gloom a lot because that sells. And so I love to talk about why is it why, why, why do we farm? Since it's so difficult and so challenging, why is it that we enjoy doing this? And I think there's a myriad of reasons. You know, working with your family. That can be challenging at times, but at the end of the day, you're with your own people, you're with your family. Being stewards of the land. You know, being able to work in nature and seeing those crops grow up and, you know, get bigger day by day…

Likewise, you know that autonomy, having that control over your schedule, you know, of course Mother Nature is going to voice when things are going to happen, but you do have some flexibility there. You know, you can find a great source of meaning in farming, you know, by providing for society. And I think this can be a great source of pride, you know, knowing that you are an essential worker and you are providing something that we need. No farmers, no food.

Correct, Yeah, exactly. There is definitely a nobility part of that, that fulfillment. I grew up in agriculture and of course continue to farm with my three generational farming family. And absolutely there's, there's a bit of pride in and a little of that goodness feeling like I feel like we're part of the good guys in this in the United States, in the world really, in helping to feed and clothe and and also provide fuel for all of our people. So, when you talk about farming, many times there's going to be some warning signs of stress. So, what are some of those warning signs that we should be on the be looking for?

These warning signs are going to be unique to the individual. And so whoever's listening here, you're going to have your own thumbprint of warning signs. There's going to be overlap. You know, there's some general things that I can share, but it's really going to be, you know, unique to you and so, be growing that self-awareness. You know, what is it that I notice in myself, you know, personally, my eye will start to twitch, you know, when it is, you know, reports are due and I got to help dad and, you know, X, Y, Z. It feels like everything's kind of piling up. My left eye will really start to twitch. And that'll be a sign to me that something's going on. Um, and a lot of these signs, you know, could be really sudden or it could kind of build up over time. And, you know, all, you know, you look back over the past six months and you're like, wow, my eye started twitching at some point and I didn't really notice. And it's really, you know, a change that happens. And so some of the, like, you know, stereotypical ones is a change in sleep. You know, I think maybe in the media it seems like if you're stressed, you're going to sleep all the time. But it could be the opposite. It could be that you're not sleeping at all. Likewise with eating behaviors. And so, you know, either I'm, you know, my if I'm stressed, my partner, she may come in in the morning and see that I'm eating a large pepperoni pizza for breakfast.

And that's not typically what I do. So that could be a sign that I am feeling stressed, you know, having this overeating. So there's like the behavioral changes that are, that could happen, and then like the emotional components, you could be, you know, have more anger like anger outburst, you know, little things that typically wouldn't upset you suddenly now are pushing you over that threshold and you're having an outburst, maybe even with the loved ones in your life, people that you care deeply about, that you know, when you're not stressed, you wouldn't say these things, but just a little thing pushes you over. So, you know, having these anger outbursts, other changes in mood, maybe loss of mood, you're just kind of checking out from things, not finding enjoyment in, you know, the things that have brought you joy historically. And then, yeah, changes in your thoughts, you know as well, you know, feeling more doom and gloom about things and, you know, kind of being more cynical about stuff. So yeah, I'd say those are the some of the big ones. But yeah, it's really going to be unique. And so another way to think about this for yourself is, you know, how would someone that you're close to recognize that you're stressed? So, if you asked your partner, your spouse, how do they know, you know, that that you're stressed?

Linda 6:10

Exactly. And I feel like the spouse or those significant others are the first ones to pick up on something has changed. And then it's the the ability to have a therapeutic conversation, so to speak, with them and encourage them to talk about that stress, that that is a tricky space to be sometimes in farm families, right? Because there's so many, so many things that have to be done on that farm and the dynamics are so individual within each farming family.

Dr. Rice 6:37

I really like what you just brought up about, you know, having space to talk about that. And I think that can be something that is very helpful is, you know, talking about the stress that you're facing. And, you know, a lot of times when we are feeling this stress, we really are just looking for someone to be able to talk about it. You know, like, I'm going to come to you, Linda, and, you know, I have all these things going on and I really just want you to hear me out. I don't I'm not necessarily looking for feedback. I'm not looking for you to fix it. I just want to talk about it. You know, that can be incredibly helpful.

It is and and this reminds me of a conversation I had with a young hog producer last week, I just kind of asked him about his stresses. I said, So what brought you back to the farm? And I think it was easier for him to share with me than it was be to share with his parents or with the brother. You know, that if they feel like it's like that sign of weakness, maybe?

I think also just over the years being punished for sharing those things, you know, or like not maybe not like directly punished, but like indirectly, like you share something and someone kind of disregards it and doesn't really hear you or see you when you're sharing that. And so you just get used to not sharing that because you don't you're not getting back what you actually need from that.

That is true. That is true. And just the listening part. I just had my youngest just rant and rave last week about his dad to me for like 20 minutes. He said, Mom, I just needed to rant. I'm like, okay, I'm hearing you now. I get that.

Yeah, and I'm sure he enjoyed having someone there to be able to voice that too.

And he did tell me, he said, You don't have to fix it. Just listen to me. I'm like, okay, you've laid the ground here, the rules. So I get it now.

That's great. And that is something that I think a lot of farmers could learn, you know, and going into a conversation, you know, if you're the listener asking them like, do you want advice or do you want me to listen? And that's that's a skill that I am continually working on of like, is this a situation where you want my advice or a situation where you just want to vent?

It's a simple question. So, what are some things that we can do to help ourselves and our family manage stress? What are some strategies?

You know, one of the most immediate things that you can do is exercise. And, you know, whenever I bring this up in a room of farmers, I always get the I mean, I am working all day in the field. The last thing I want to do is exercise. And I totally get that. Fortunately, we have some other opportunities here that we can address our stress. Um, you know, I think oftentimes when I. When this question comes up, I'll ask, what? What has worked for you? What is it that recharges your batteries? And same thing with these signs of stress are going to be unique.

The way that you handle it is going to be unique. And so, you know, for me, I when my eye starts twitching, I'm getting out into the woods and I'm going for a walk. And, you know, even just 20 minutes, just getting the heart rate just up a little bit and going for a walk, that's something I can do easily that immediately starts to make me feel better. Maybe this is, you know, getting on a bicycle or some other physical activity. But, you know, the data is really clear here. That exercise is one of the most immediate things that you can do to make yourself feel better and to reduce stress. And I said taking a walk in the woods. And that's intentional. Spending non-work time in the in nature can reduce stress. There's something very deeply rooted in all of us, and spending time in nature can make us feel better. You know, one of my favorite terms I recently heard was taking a forest bath. I'm sure many people here have heard that. But yeah, getting out in nature and just spending non-work time in nature. And of course, that's the important, you know, condition here is non-work time. You know, again, farmers spending a lot of time in nature, a lot of times out in the fields. But how much of that is, you know, really appreciating the beauty around you and being in awe of nature? You know, you oftentimes, you know, you're down on the grindstone working, but being intentional about that.

Being social is another big thing. The data is really clear here that if you want to live a long, happy life, being social, and this is going again be different for different people. Maybe getting lunch once a month with one friend is enough to fill your cup. Other people, they need to be with 50 people every night. And, you know, it's going to be different for different people. But we are social beings, just like that, being in nature is deeply rooted, being social is deeply rooted in us, too. And so finding some way, you know, is it that coffee in Monday morning at the local gas station or, just checking in with your fellow farmers and, being that non-work, you know, all this stuff is non-work time and being intentional about that. And, I think there's a greater acceptance of reaching out and being social now. I think especially over the past couple of years, people have realized how important that is. So yeah, I think physical exercise, being social, spending time in nature, spiritual practices, whatever that means for you, you know, going to church on Sunday. Even like a meditation practice, I think can be really helpful.

And what I mean by that is just, spending time to watch your breath. Sounds really boring, and it is at times. But just being intentional about sitting there and just connecting with your senses and trying to set aside those thoughts that emerge and this happens with all of us, you know, our, our minds love to project us into the past and project us into the future. You know, I'll think about that, that time that that interview with Linda went really poorly, I should ruminate about that. Or, what if no one listens to this in the future? I'd better think about that. And, just appreciating those thoughts, saying thank you for visiting me and then returning back to the present moment and connecting with… we all have our breath, it’s always there. You can watch that and you can hijack your biology a little bit, even, if you're feeling anxious, and if you exaggerate your exhale, your heart rate will come down.

So, when you inhale, your heart rate is increasing. And when you exhale, your heart rate decreases and it kind of balances out. But if you intentionally watch your breath and exaggerate that exhale, you will bring your heart rate down. And you know, when you're at the doctor's office sitting there and they inevitably take your heart rate right when you walked up 30 flights of stairs and it's way high. This is something that you can use to bring that down. So, yeah, I think I think those are some some highlights of what you can do. Of course, engaging with teletherapy. This is a great thing. Another line I'll say here is that you are your farm's greatest asset. The farm does not exist without you. And often times we overlook that part. A lot of farmers would give the shirt off their back to help another person. But we need to really prioritize ourselves so that we can be there to support each other. You know, if you hear it on the airplane, you got to put your own oxygen mask on first before you help others. If you're not taking care of yourself, then you're not able to get the most out of your farm and be able to help that other fellow farmer who needs help.

Exactly. You have really hit on so many things that we hear over and over again, but maybe put a little different spin on it. I love that you're from the northern part of the United States. And so for you, what's important is being connected to the forest and being able, again, to to watch your breath, like I'm envisioning you walking in in the fall or in the spring and you're able to see the breath and those simple things. And for some of us located other places of the United States, it's reconnecting to those assets that we kind of forget are just sitting there and and finding balance. That's what I heard throughout your conversation, is finding that balance and what that balance looks like to you. We had talked a little bit as well before we started our recording about the importance of relationships within our farm families and and what happens when a farm fails or what makes a farm succeed. So, let's dig a little bit more into that.

Yeah, this is something that Stan made me aware of when I first started he worked in the business management side of things. And he told me that farms farm businesses, you know, especially when the family's involved, when they fail, it's not because they didn't know how to file a certain tax form. It's because of the relationships - It's because of the communication and the relationships involved, overwhelmingly, is why a farm fails or why a family farm fails to be handed down. It's really because of those relationships and the communication, not because they didn't know how to file a tax form.

Exactly. I can think of a number of farm families around here that they struggle with those relationships. And I'm sure it's it's throughout, anyone who's in this world of agriculture, especially on those farm families farms, it is those relationships. And we hear that over and over again - the relationship is key no matter what business you're in, it's, “those relationships are key.” So how can we bolster some of those relationships? When I think about family farms in the human resource facet of it, that's not something that comes to mind right away, and that can be generational. The average age of the farmer, what, 58 to 60, and some of these managers maybe didn't have that education at some point, or maybe they just lived by lived by watching other ones go through some of their experiences. So. what suggestions would you have, when you think about relationships and keeping those relationships front and center when things on the farm are successful or not?

I have a couple of different ideas here that I think would help. And I think… Asking questions of who's involved, who's working on the farm, just checking in with them and just hearing them out. You know, like what I said earlier about, checking in on how we each are doing and not necessarily doing it to try to fix what's going on, but just to hear them out. You know, that Monday morning you're having your, your meeting to what's going to happen on the farm the rest of the week. Maybe you just take 15 minutes and set aside and be like, hey, what's going well for everyone? You know, what did you do this weekend to recharge? What recharges your batteries? And just spending some time hearing and showing that you care and being intentional about that. You know, I think a lot of us assume that our family members and people we work with know that we care about them. But it's good to say that. It's good to express that and, you know, getting comfortable with that. I know that can be challenging to show affection and then also receive affection. But it's important, especially on those hard days.

Leading with curiosity, you know, how things are going and asking questions. And then, trying to, trying to ask people “Why?” Why is it that you are working on this farm? What is it that you get out of this? Why? Is it, you know, the paycheck? But why are you doing this type of work instead of something else? What is the reason for you being here and doing this work? We all probably have some common ground there. You know, in a farm family business, um, you know, are we recognizing that? I guess so, you know, being intentional about asking each other these open-ended questions and providing space for people to share their thoughts and, recognizing also that at the end of the day, we all want what's best for the farm. We may have different opinions of how to get there. And, you know, but we really do all want what's best for the farm. We want what's best for each other. We want what's best for our families. You know, we're all share that common ground. And so not getting lost in the weeds of the differences of opinions of how we go about things and then finding that common ground and where that where's that compromise at, where we're all going in the same direction. Is there a path that we can all walk on to get there?

Exactly, yeah. Common ground is always key, I think, in any situation. And and just know that some days are tougher than others. You know, some days the sun shines and everything goes great. And then there's other days that you just can't even get one thing accomplished without something else happening.

Being aware of like, where is everyone at and like choosing the right time to have these conversations, you know, checking in ahead of time, like, okay, we need to make some decisions on the farm and everyone has some really heated opinions or, you know, opinions that are going to make the conversation difficult and making sure everyone is ready for that instead of showing up stressed, ready to, you know, have that anger outburst.

Exactly. And when you think about family farms, there's multiple generations going on. You can have the young farmer who's got the young family that the baby was up sick all last night. You can have the older gentleman who maybe has some health issues that they're dealing with. And then you have the in-betweeners. You know, that that sandwich generation that are trying to manage a lot of things. So it's appreciating where everybody is coming from, for sure.

And when would when would it be a good time to have that conversation then? You know, if we can't have it right now, what day of the week is it good to do these difficult conversations? You know, is it right when we're loading 300 head of cattle, right in the middle of that? Probably not. You know, but is it Sunday, Sunday lunch when the family's together and we're all relaxed? You know, maybe that's the good time to have those difficult conversations.

Exactly. Exactly

The last thing I'll say here is that this is all up to you. You know, the listener. Like, I cannot come on to the farm and make these changes happen for you. I can have a conversation with you about it. I can help you kind of shape your thoughts and, you know, maybe just be a sounding board, but at the end of the day. This is up to you and this is completely in your control. If you're not happy with how the thing, how how things are on the farm, then you can make the changes. Same thing, if you need help. Um. It's up to you to reach out for help. And, you know, reaching out for help is a brave and important step in taking care of yourself. And so if anyone's struggling out there, I encourage you to seek out that help.

Wonderful way to wrap this conversation up. Thank you for your time once again.

Thank you.

Okay folks, that’s it for today. Thank you again for tuning in to another episode. Be sure to subscribe to this podcast to hear more from AgriSafe on the health and safety issues impacting agricultural workers. If you’d like to suggest topics, or have a story you’d like to share, contact us by email at INFO AT AGRISAFE DOT ORG, and title your email “T T F H Podcast.” We always welcome email. You can also get our attention by using the hashtag "T T F H pod" on Twitter! To see more from AgriSafe, including webinars and our newsletter, visit w w w dot agrisafe dot org.

This episode was created by AgriSafe Network, directed by Laura Siegel, hosted Linda Emanuel, edited by Matt McKenney for ProPodcastingServices.com, with special guest Dr. Remmington Rice!